I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
