rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
