marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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