I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
