I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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