hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
