Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
