I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
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i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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