Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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