We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
