she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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