I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
