I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
