I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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