Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
