He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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