but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize