ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
