I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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