Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
