two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I look excited, but its just a facade.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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