i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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