better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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