he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
