Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
