help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
