I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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