Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
