Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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