just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
