belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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