i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Found your dick twin last night
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
There's even glitter on my cock...
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