I think my vagina is haunted
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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