So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
