i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
