Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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