You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You are the jesus of drinking
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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