Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize