I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
