so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
