All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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