sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize