How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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