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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
