So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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