when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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