Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
