Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
