Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
