You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize