What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
