sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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