you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
