Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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