Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
