Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
