we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
