Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
