I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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