I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
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I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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