: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
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All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
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I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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