i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
handjob tips. give me some.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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