I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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