even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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